4 Types Of Relationships That Will Never Make You


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Welp. It started snowing here for the first time today. Don’t worry, I was already wearing my plaid Christmasy colored pjs so I was totally ready for it. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be entering holiday season, but if there’s one thing that the holidays do – it’s force you to take a serious look at your relationship.

I know. You’d totally rather be eating peppermint cookies and drinking  grandma’s eggnog than talking about this – sorry.

You  may not think there’s anything worse than being alone for the holidays.  But there is. Being in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. Because then you’re just staring at all the happy people and getting depressed that you aren’t them. Of course, it’s easy to keep ignoring the issue than to seriously analyze your relationship, which is what you should be doing. So, I challenge you to take a step back and honestly try to see your relationship for what it is – even if it’s not that pretty.

My twentysomething observations have taught me a few things. There are patterns – certain “types” of relationships that people end up in. And I hope you’re not in one because that means you’re definitely not as happy as you could – and deserve – to be.

1. The Rite of Passage Relationship

 “You couldn’t be more wrong for me, but I’m still going to let you suck the life out of me until I have nothing left to give because I enjoy a challenging project.” I have found this relationship to be a rite of passage for every woman on earth. Some learn. Others will continue to fall into this trap until they either despise men altogether or they snap and end up on a Lifetime TV special.

2. The We’ve Been Together Waaay Too Long Relationship

“I’m pretty sure this has no potential of going anywhere meaningful, but we’re both too lazy and non-confrontational- so let’s just forget to break up and be eternally unsatisfied, sound good?” This is a common result of a long high school relationship that carried over into college, in which the person to whom you were originally attracted has now grown up into an entirely different person. Unfortunately, both parties are usually too lazy and comfortable to end it so they will go on to have a miserable existence.

3. The I Deserve Better, Yet I Don’t Relationship

“You treat me like crap. I like to complain about it to everyone, but for some reason I never leave you. In fact, I’m so desperately and completely in unrequited love with you that I am satisfied with being the object of your non-affection until you ultimately dump me. After which, I will shed rivers of big, fat, elephant tears, and eat myself ugly.” This is just sad, but I see it all the time.

4. The All My Friends Are Engaged / If I Don’t Have Kids Soon My Mom Will Lose All Reason To Live Relationship

“Alright. This is as good as it’s gonna get. Courthouse or Vegas?” Okay, so most of you college girls aren’t to this point yet – or at least you better not be! But once you have graduated and everyone starts to get married, you will notice a lot of girls settling due to loneliness, peer pressure, a bad experience on Match.com, or the desperate need for a second income.

So stop traveling down the long, bleak road to a loveless future. Stop staring at the happy people.  It’s time to become one.

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